Are You Trying To Change Him Into Your Mr. Right?
Have you seen that store in the mall all the kids gravitate too? The store with all the cute, little teddy bears? Oh, they have so many different types for children. And the best thing is, the kids can make their own little furry friend! They literally come in and build their bear. They come in pick out the color, the hair, the size, even down to how big they want it. And when they finish, their eyes glisten with happiness because they have their perfect bear. Awesome isn’t it?
Have you found yourself doing this with the men in your life? You decide he is not quite as perfect as you want him to be. He is not as tidy as you want him to be. You can live with that. Or maybe he doesn’t have the same values as you. Marriage and children you see in your future, but for him it is a definite no.
Some women see this as a challenge and try to change their man. Instead of taking what he says as his truth, some will decide to make him be the man they want. They will build their perfect man out of him and will die trying. I say die trying because you will spend every day up until your last trying to make him your ideal man.
Who has time to change all of that?
There are some things about men that you just can’t change. One of them is looking at other women. You can’t stop a man from looking at another woman. He has eyes and he can’t help but to look. Women are walking around half naked these days and if your man happens to take a glance or two, cut him some slack. There is a flip side to this of course. If he is being blatantly disrespectful about it, then you need to have a serious talk. You shouldn’t tolerate any level of disrespect. How would he like if you did the same?
His love for sports is another thing that you can’t change in men. If your man is a huge sports fan it is embedded in his blood. You will not be able to change the way he feels about it. He was a Dallas Cowboy fan when he met you and he will continue to be a diehard fan until the day he dies. He might even request his coffin to be royal blue and gray on the inside! If he wants to watch football uninterrupted, just let him. Let him have the den all to himself with his beer and remote in hand. Walking in front of him butt naked might veer him from the television for about thirty minutes but he will eventually go back to watching the game when you put your clothes back on.
This one is a biggie. I know sometimes your man has friends you can’t stand for whatever reason. Perhaps you don’t trust them. Or they take away time that he could be spending with you. Whatever the case may be, you don’t like his homies. In most cases, you are the new one on the block. He has known his friends way longer than he has known you. If his friends come in between your relationship it can be disastrous. You can’t tell him to get a whole new batch of friends. Instead of replacing his friends he will replace you. You will have to just tolerate them and learn to compromise when it comes to his homeboys. If he spends more time with them than he does with you, it’s time to bring that to his attention and act accordingly. If he balances his time out between you and his friends, than all is well. If he continues to choose his friends over you maybe you need to move it on along. He shouldn’t make you feel like there is a competition for his time and attention.
If he has no ambition, no drive to have a successful career; you will not make him change his mind. Ok maybe 19 or 20 yr old, but a grown ass man! I have seen so many women support their man financially became he refuses to do what most men do. As long as he has someone to take care of him, the couch he will sit.
Men are not dogs. You can’t whip them with newspaper to get them back on track. You can’t train a man. You try to change them they will despise you and potentially leave you. They want to be loved as who they are just like you do.
If you are with someone that you want to change, nine times out of ten he is not the right one for you. Being with the wrong person is worse than being alone. You will spend all your time trying to make him into your perfect man, when you could have moved on and met the one that was right for you.