The 90 Day Rule

I’m pretty sure we have heard of Steve Harvey and his book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. In this book he discusses the 90 Day Rule. The rule states if you are dating a man, you should wait 90 days before you become intimate with him.

I personally think it is a good idea. I have had this debate many times with different women, and the majority say this is too long to wait. What’s the rush? For women who are really in the pursuit of a true, committed relationship; the 90 Day Rule should be Bible. Oh, you don’t agree either? Let’s outweigh the pro’s and cons of the 90 Day Rule.

First let’s go over exactly what the 90 Day Rule is.

It is not having any sorts of sexual intimacy at all in the firs 90 days of dating a man. NOTHING! No touching, kissing, or anything that you can do with your mouth…nothing at all.

So what are the reasons why you SHOULD wait 90 days?

When you first meet a guy you are getting to know him. Can you safely say after a few weeks you know everything about him? Not at all. You basically are getting it on with a stranger.

After a few weeks or even couple of months of dating, as we get to know the guy we realize we don’t like him. You begin to see how he really is. He keeps his house dirty, is a mama’s boy, and seems a little possessive. Wouldn’t it have been great if you would have just waited and found that out before you gave him some? You dump him and meet the next guy. You don’t like Mr. Next, but now you have added another guy that you have banged. After awhile you can count them on hands and toes. Not a good look.

Peep this scenario, you and a guy been really feeling each other. Talking on the phone, going on dates here and there, and then you find out he has a girlfriend or he is married! It has happened to the best of us. Well, he has another woman and you have already given up the goods. Bummer!

In the first few weeks of dating so many things are revealed while you are getting to know them. The first few dates you are meeting their representative. The always perfect gentleman, so kind and thoughtful. Give it some time and the real him will come out. We get to wrapped up in his representative we tend to fall real quick and then our panties start to fall down as well.

Not saying that there are no good men out there. Yes there are some men who are a gentleman and has good intentions on dating you, but there are many that are the complete opposite and we have to weed out these toads to get to our Prince,

Also, if you tell him you practice the 90 Day Rule and he decides he doesn’t want to continue seeing you. That is his loss! All he was wanting was to roll around in the sheets! Would you want to be with a man like that anyway?

Sex also complicates so much. We women are emotional by nature. We start to be intimate with a man, our feelings than get involved, and that is when we are the most vulnerable. Our emotions can make us blind and not see things as they are at this stage. We sometimes will ignore red flag in the relationship. Warnings that this guy is not who we need in our lives, but we just can’t see it. I call that thinking with your heart and not with your head.

Make Him Work

You don’t want to make it easy for him. He has got to work for your heart and your sex. Men like to chase. Let him chase. Make him work for your loving. Majority of the time, if you give it up quick, the chase and excitement of him trying to get in your leggings is gone. He got what he was looking for and has moved on to the next chick. Men do not settle down and marry whores. Once he finds a woman who will make him work for it, it intrigues him and makes him want her even more. It takes more than a few dates and a late night text to get you in bed.

In short, there are many benefits of partaking in the 90 Day Rule especially if a committed relationship is what you are looking for. It makes finding “The One” a lot easier.



  1. This should be preached everywhere, everyday. Women should stand for their worth. I believe not just 90days but if he can commit to wait until AFTER marriage and not before. This works best.


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