13 Tips On Finding True Love In 2018
With the holidays here and Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air. For some, we spend it with our husbands, wives, or significant others. There are others who are out there in pursuit of finding their one and only true love. We all deserve that love. The kind of love that makes you have butterflies in your stomach. Cheesy, romance novel kind of love. Oh, look me in my eyes and make all worry and doubt disappear by just feeling your warm embrace kind of love. Yeah, it’s cliche; but we want it. We crave love, attention, and just someone who makes us feel special.
Many people say they will wait until the right man comes along. “I will just pray to Jesus he sends me the right one.” Nothing wrong with praying for the right mate. However, that’s like needing a job but not submitting any applications. How will the job know you’re the best person for the position if they don’t know you are looking for employment? You have to put in some effort to finding your happily ever after.
13 Tips on Finding True Love In 2018
1. Know exactly the kind of mate your looking for. It’s always good to start with knowing the kind of man you want. What do you want him to value in life? A man that believes in God and has strong faith? Someone who is big on family or someone who doesn’t want children at all? Come up with some key, important strong points you want your mate to have to make sure you get exactly who you want in your life.
2. Standards. This one goes hand in hand with number one. Set some standards and don’t fray from them. Dating can be overwhelming and it’s easy to decrease standards when you feel like every guy you meet is not the one. You can start out with not wanting a man who has no children, to being with a man who has three kids by three different women and one day you will wake up wondering why your burping a baby that isn’t yours. Also, make sure your standards are reasonable. To want a man who is a millionaire and you are unemployed is too far fetch. Make sure what you want him to bring to the table, you can match his side of the table cloth. Make a list of the all the things you want in a man. Narrow it down to the top three to five and make those traits your absolute deal breakers.
3. Instant sexual attraction fades over time. Yes you want to be attracted to the guy, however it is not the most important quality for him to have. That instant spark you feel is lust. Lust has a slow burn. After a few months the heat fizzles out and your relationship needs more than orgasms to stand on its own. Look beyond the bulging biceps and 6 pack abs.
4. Look for Partnership. Yes romance is lovely. Wining, dining, roses, and chocolates are wonderful. Being swept off your feet is like a fairy tale. But also make sure he will make a good partner. Does he listen you and value your opinion? Partnership will get you through the trials and tribulations of life.
5. Unavailable Men are Off Limits. Married, engaged, or men with girlfriends should not be entertained. A true, honest relationship never starts off as a lie. God will never bless you with another woman’s husband. You want someone that can give you all their time and attention you deserve. True love will never have you playing the part of second best.
6. You Attract What You Are. Happy people attract happy people. If you are trying to find love in 2018 with a negative mind frame, chances are you will find another grumpy person as well.If your mentality is your too picky, no one believes in love, all men are dogs, etc. Chances are that person will have the same energy. Be who you want to attract.
7. Love Who You Are Flaws and All. The cliche is true, if you don’t love yourself; no one will love you either. When you love yourself, you will not settle for less than you deserve. If you treat yourself highly and with respect, everyone around will follow.
8. Forgive Your Exes. Past relationships need to stay in the past. Whatever reason you and your exes didn’t make it down the aisle, learn from it and move on. Experience makes the best lessons. Carrying anger and resentment into your next relationship will give it no chance from the first date. And the new guy has nothing to do with your ex. Making him pay for your exes mistakes is just not fair. No baggage from previous relationships into the next one. Pack light.
9. Keep An Open Mind– You never know with whom you will find love. Some people only date one race, or no one over or under a certain age. You can be eliminating an entire group of men based on height. Trust your instinct. A good person is a good person regardless of certain characteristics. Don’t write him off if he is too sensitive, too short, too heavy, too serious. Give it at least three dates and see if you can stand the fact that he cries while watching The Notebook.
10. Social Networking– There are so many dating sites you can use to find Mr. Right. Match, Black People Meet, Tinder, Zoosk; eHarmony, and many more. You will have a variety of men to choose from and can easily swipe left if they don’t spark your interest. If you decide to go this route, check out my blog 6 Online Dating Tip Every Woman Should Know https://pupiloflove.com/2017/10/29/6-online-dating-safety-tips-every-woman-should-know/ It is an easy way to meet people, but you have to remember it is some rotten apples out there spoiling the bunch.
11. Wedding Bells and Baby Carriages– When you are on your first couple of dates, don’t start daydreaming about how he will propose, what colors you want in your wedding, and who will be the flower girls. Just take a deep breathe and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It will happen. Looking at every date as your Prince Charming will crush you if it doesn’t work out. Putting all your energy into the future, your biological clock ticking, and “what if’s” will have you not enjoying him right now in the present.
12. Be Yourself- You want him to fall in love with you. All of you. So don’t hide your quirks. Let him get to know the real you. Some women don’t want to scare him away, so they will act like someone their not. Don’t let him fall in love with a stranger. If you don’t like sports tell him just that. Be authentic.
13. Keep Your Options Open- If you meet a great guy, is it best to stop dating all men and focus on him? No! If you two have not discussed and agreed on exclusively dating each other or being in a committed relationship; the answer is no. You should not put your dating life on hold for someone you have no claims to. You could pass up “The One’ for “Mr. Maybe”.
For those of you that are looking for true love. Don’t believe the hype. Honest, committed, pure love is out there waiting for you!