Back in the day, anytime I had a problem with my boyfriends I called my friends. We would order pizza and sit and dog out men for hours. We would laugh, cry, and give each other advice on what we should do. Love ‘em or leave em alone!
Many times the advice that I was given I actually followed. Stay with him, leave him, or make it work. Get revenge, go through his phone, buy lingerie; whatever the advice I did it. Sometimes the advice would work in my favor. Whatever the problem was, it would get solved, and we would move on. Other times, the poop would hit the fan and I would create a bigger mess.
After a few relationships and me just getting wiser, I realized that some of my friends I should not be listening to. I started to take a step back and say, “Wait! Why am I listening to you again?”
I am pretty sure you have friends that will give you advice all day about your boyfriend or husband. They will tell you the signs he is cheating on you or what you should do if he stays out late with his friends. Their sentences always starts with, “Girl, if I was you I would..”
There are some friends who give really good suggestions. They are great listeners and advise under the best pretenses. And their advice actually works.
Then you have those you need to stop in mid sentence and never listen to a word they say.
Which friends are those you ask?
NOT FROM THESE PEOPLE!
Single Sarah– This one is a given. The friend who is always single. The one who has the toughest time finding and keeping a man. She is lonely and wants you to be lonely together hand in hand. No matter the situation, she will tell you your man is the worst boyfriend and you should start looking for another. He could cancel a date to take care of his sick grandmother and she will say you deserve better. Face it, misery loves company. This whole attitude that you should just leave him it not good for your relationship. There are some things that can be worked out and listening to Single Sarah will have you wondering if you can find someone sweeter, sexier, more romantic, attentive, taller….you get the drift.
2. Jezebel Jessica– This is the friend who is always messing with someone else husband/boyfriend. She is always playing the side chick role. Guys only take her out on dates two towns away. Going to family reunions, meeting his friends, and spending holidays with her men she can’t do because they are with their wives and families. And you want to take advice from Jezebel Janet? What can she tell you? How to make sure your Valentine’s Day will always be celebrated February 15th? Don’t listen to Jezebel Jessica.
3. Doormat Denise– Denise always has a man that does her wrong. And what does she do? Turn a blind eye and act like nothing is wrong. Denise will look through his phone and find nude pics of other women, texts conversations, social media DM’s and still stick by her man’s side. However, if you think your man is cheating, she will tell you in a heartbeat to pack his bags and yell boy bye! She makes you take a step back and ask yourself, “How can I listen to her when she has the most terrible relationships?” Your taking advice from someone who actually needs to take their OWN advice. They can’t help you when they need to help themselves.
4. Cousin Camille- This is a tough one. Family are some of the best to get advice from. They love you unconditionally and truly only want the best for you. Once your mate messes up one time though, that is it! They will never forgive him. No matter what he does here on out, will never wash away his first mishap EVER. The problem is you tell them everything he has done wrong. You go back home, you make up with him and all is good. However your family is still pissed. Sometimes you have to be choosy in what you tell them.
Everyone has opinions, but not everyone can useful advice. You can’t share all your relationship business with everyone. It depends on many factors if your friends and family will give you the best advice. Look at their relationships, how they react to their own relationship problems before you act on their suggestions.