Bag Lady

used to love that song by Erykah Badu. At the time I was around nineteen years of age and didn’t really know the true meaning of the song. I just liked it because it had a good beat and the lyrics were catchy. Now that I have some life experience behind me, I know what the song is all about.

Emotional baggage is what she was singing about it. Hauling bags of issues from relationship to relationship. That baggage can weigh you and every man you try to have a relationship with down. Dealing with cheaters, distrustful people, abuse in childhood or by ex boyfriends can all lead to unresolved issues that can taint your relationships.


If you are carrying a coin purse or a clutch full of baggage that may be manageable. However, if you have three or four luggage sets of baggage that can be a big problem. There isn’t anything wrong with protecting yourself when you are in a new relationship. You do have to be cautious with who you let in your life. It makes sense to have your guard up a little. But if you put a wall up so high that Mr. New can’t even reach over it, you will find yourself alone. It’s difficult to let go of the hurt that you have been through in past relationships but Mr. New doesn’t want to deal with it. And it actually isn’t fair to him. Is it his fault that your ex cheated on you with his high school sweetheart whom he met on Facebook? Then why you hacking into Mr. New’s Facebook account? It’s not his fault that an ex slept with your best friend now you won’t let Mr. New meet anyone of your girlfriends. Behavior like this will send him packing and you won’t even get to see how far your relationship will go with him. The only thing that will be keeping you company is all that baggage you hauling around.


When you come into a relationship with emotional baggage the guy might look at you as damaged. If he really likes you he might stick around and try to “fix” you. He will try to prove that he isn’t like those other men you have dealt with. It’s like walking into a crime scene he didn’t commit. He will try to clean it up even though he didn’t do the crime. After a while he might give up if his efforts are in vain.


Figure out what your baggage is and start to unload the luggage one piece of clothing at a time. When you have dealt with it, then it is time to find the one. You will give Mr. New a fresh, new start. You owe it to yourself!

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3 Comments

  1. Great post! Letting go of the baggage is a freeing experience. It allowed me to be who I am, and truly love another person. Until you love yourself, you can’t love another.

    Like

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