There are some people who have the truth in front of them, but they don’t want to see it.
Denial is a huge issue. I have seen so many women in denial. I have been denial a few times myself. You see the truth but you just don’t want to believe it. How many times have you had a man cheat on you and you already knew he was cheating? How many times did you know it, but you just didn’t want to believe it? We women can be in denial so deep sometimes. You see all the signs but you just look away from it. Coming home late, catching him in lies, women texting and calling him at odd hours of the night, and you might even answer his phone a couple times and hear the woman asking to speak to him. And somehow we manage to look over this and let it go. “No, there is an explanation for this pair of panties that are not mine for being in his car.” “I know he said he was going to the store five hours ago, but he will be back.” “I’m sure he is not answering his phone because it’s on vibrate. He doesn’t feel it in his pocket.” Why is it so hard for some women to leave this man once he shows that he is a player?
It takes too much energy to turn your back from what you know is real. The longer you dwell in the land of denial, the worse it will get. Chalking it up to loving him, having his back, or this is the way men are; are all excuses you keep telling yourself. After a while, if you stick around, you will become an enabler. You will enable his behavior because you are allowing him to continue to do it to you. A person will only cause you so much pain if you keep handing him the knife. You are your own solution to the problem.
Here are a few different ways you can tell if you are in denial about your relationship:
You don’t want your man to meet your friends or family: Do you avoid introducing your friends and family to your man? If you know that they are going to say negative comments about him, then trust you are thinking the same about him too. “Girl, why he got four baby mama’s?” “Why is he not working?” “Is there a reason why he is living in his mother’s basement?” You want to be proud of your man and want your loved ones to like him. If you are avoiding the family meet and greet, chances are you are having doubts about your relationship. Time to step back and reevaluate what is the root to you not wanting to him to be around your loved ones.
You would rather be with him then be alone: Sometimes being lonely can make you do some unwise things. Like being with a man you don’t really like just so you won’t have to spend every weekend alone watching reruns of Martin. You are selling yourself short taking this route. You deserve to be with a guy that you are happy to be with; not just filling a void until Mr. Right comes along. It is a waste of his time and yours. And time waits for no one.
“If He Would Just:” “If he would just stop drinking things would be better.” “If he would just stop talking to other women.” “If he would just stop being so possessive.” When you think or talk about your man do you find yourself starting off every sentence with, “If only he would just”? If you think if he would change one thing and your relationship will be perfect, think again. You are in denial and need to figure out if you can deal with the behavior or if it’s time to bounce.
Taking a time out and seeing things more clearly can save you from heart ache. Going through life with rose colored glasses on that beautiful face shields you from the truth. Once you see the truth, it forces you to act on it. Do I stay or do I go? This is the point where people start being in denial because they don’t want to make that choice. See the truth for what it is. You owe it to yourself.