Loose Lips Sink Ships
None ya! That’s one of my favorite sayings. I know you have heard someone say this classmates. When someone asks me, “Where was you at yesterday when I called you?” My answer is, “None ya!” Which means none of your business! I like to answer most questions with that answer. I don’t like people prying into my business. I happen to be a very private person.
I believe in order to have a fulfilling relationship this is what you tell people when they meddle in your personal business. Friends and family can be the main ones to interfere in your relationship. We let them because we value their opinion. We answer all their questions and call on them when we have a problem.
They are our shoulders to cry on when we need to just vent and they console us.
While this is all true, there can be a negative side to this. Friends and family can also tear a relationship apart.
Their opinion about him can sway you to leave him or they can change your way of thinking about him. We have to learn how to value their opinion but still stand by what you think is best for you.
You shouldn’t tell anyone everything about the relationship. No matter how close you are too someone, telling them every little tid bit about your union is not a good idea. The saying is don’t tell your right hand what the left hand is doing. The same thing should go for your loved ones.
Your loved ones want to you to be with someone that treats you like gold. Most of the time if someone isn’t perfect in their eyes, they don’t deserve a chance with you. A bit unrealistic, but that’s how loved ones are. Once you let them in on all the arguments y’all have, they will hold it against them forever.
You have emotionally invested them in your relationship. They are going through this emotional roller coaster with you.
They don’t hear about how he runs your bath every night, how he holds your hand until you fall asleep, or he makes you breakfast in bed every weekend. They just hear all the negative things. We so often go to our loved ones when something is wrong, not when things are going well. So all they are hearing is the negative about him.
To solve this problem is to just not tell them about every little squabble. They don’t need to know every little detail because it’s not their business anyway. If there is a problem that is life changing or he is abusing you, then by all means talk to your loved ones. However, cursing him out one day and saying how he is the best man you ever met the next to your loved ones will leave them confused and upset. Just keep most things to yourself.
Communicate more with your man instead of with your loved ones.
If you find yourself calling on them anytime you have a concern with him there is a problem. You should be going to your man with these matters. If your loved ones know more about the relationship and how you feel than he does that is a sign that you are conversing with the wrong people. How can anything get solved if he doesn’t even know what’s going on? It isn’t anything wrong with going to your family for advice, but if you have a bone to pick with him he needs to be first to know. If he felt some kind of way about you, would you rather he went to his friends or to you first? And don’t let him find out anything through the grapevine. That will unleash a world of trouble. It’s better to come straight to your man so you can solve whatever is on your mind.
Your family and friends mean well, however if you put them in every single conversation, disagreement, and pillow talk of you and your man, that is a train wreck waiting to happen.